www.virtualacorn.co.uk/forum

For support and advice on VirtualAcorn products
Forums now closed. This is an HTML only record of the content.
HTML version of Forum generated Thursday 24th May 2018

All times are UTC [ DST ]


Frequently Asked Questions
Login and Registration Issues
Why can’t I login?
Why do I need to register at all?
Why do I get logged off automatically?
How do I prevent my username appearing in the online user listings?
I’ve lost my password!
I registered but cannot login!
I registered in the past but cannot login any more?!
What is COPPA?
Why can’t I register?
What does the “Delete all board cookies” do?

User Preferences and settings
How do I change my settings?
The times are not correct!
I changed the timezone and the time is still wrong!
My language is not in the list!
How do I show an image below my username?
What is my rank and how do I change it?
When I click the e-mail link for a user it asks me to login?

Posting Issues
How do I post a topic in a forum?
How do I edit or delete a post?
How do I add a signature to my post?
How do I create a poll?
Why can’t I add more poll options?
How do I edit or delete a poll?
Why can’t I access a forum?
Why can’t I add attachments?
Why did I receive a warning?
How can I report posts to a moderator?
What is the “Save” button for in topic posting?
Why does my post need to be approved?
How do I bump my topic?

Formatting and Topic Types
What is BBCode?
Can I use HTML?
What are Smilies?
Can I post images?
What are global announcements?
What are announcements?
What are sticky topics?
What are locked topics?
What are topic icons?

User Levels and Groups
What are Administrators?
What are Moderators?
What are usergroups?
Where are the usergroups and how do I join one?
How do I become a usergroup leader?
Why do some usergroups appear in a different colour?
What is a “Default usergroup”?
What is “The team” link?

Private Messaging
I cannot send private messages!
I keep getting unwanted private messages!
I have received a spamming or abusive e-mail from someone on this board!

Friends and Foes
What are my Friends and Foes lists?
How can I add / remove users to my Friends or Foes list?

Searching the Forums
How can I search a forum or forums?
Why does my search return no results?
Why does my search return a blank page!?
How do I search for members?
How can I find my own posts and topics?

Topic Subscriptions and Bookmarks
What is the difference between bookmarking and subscribing?
How do I subscribe to specific forums or topics?
How do I remove my subscriptions?

Attachments
What attachments are allowed on this board?
How do I find all my attachments?

phpBB 3 Issues
Who wrote this bulletin board?
Why isn’t X feature available?
Who do I contact about abusive and/or legal matters related to this board?

 

Login and Registration Issues

» Why can’t I login?
You don't need to. This is a 'dumb' copy of the original VirtualAcorn forums, all pages can be read but are plain HTML.

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» Why do I need to register at all?
You don't.

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» Why do I get logged off automatically?
You never log in so you never log out, in, out, in, out shake it all about.

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» How do I prevent my username appearing in the online user listings?
We have tried to remove all identifiying personal data including names (unless used as a username) so that the information on this forum can still be read after the GDPR comes into force on 25/05/18. If your name is still showing as a username on any pages please let us know and include links to any pages where your details are shown so that we can remove your data

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» I’ve lost my password!
Don’t panic! You don't need it anymore.

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» I registered but cannot login!
You don't need to log in, the database is gone, all the pages can be read by anyone but nothing new can be posted.

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» I registered in the past but cannot login any more?!
See the above answer.

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» What is COPPA?
COPPA is cockney slang for a policeman.

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» Why can’t I register?
Because the forum system is gone, you are looking at some HTML copies of the forum postings.

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» What does the “Delete all board cookies” do?
It destroys any chocolate biscuits that are tired of life.

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User Preferences and settings

» How do I change my settings?
Move abroad.

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» The times are not correct!
 Any times that are shown will be from the last edit of these pages, not the current date/time/year.

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» I changed the timezone and the time is still wrong!
Please see the answer above.

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» My language is not in the list!
This read only copy of the forums is only available in English.

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» How do I show an image below my username?
You can't. All user account data has been deleted and the database destroyed. This version of the forums is a read only 'dumb' HTML record of the postings on the old phpBB forums with anonymised personal user data.

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» What is my rank and how do I change it?
You can't. All user account data has been deleted and the database destroyed. This version of the forums is a read only 'dumb' HTML record of the postings on the old phpBB forums on 23/5/18 with anonymised personal user data.

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» When I click the e-mail link for a user it asks me to login?
We have tried to remove any reference to login requests from this final read only version of the forums. If you do find a login form please let us know the location of the page so we can correct it.

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Posting Issues

» How do I post a topic in a forum?
You can't. The forum was closed to new members in 2015. The forum you are looking at now is a 'dumb' collection of HTML pages that keep a record of the old postings as of 23/5/18. No new postings are possible as the forum database has been destroyed.

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» How do I edit or delete a post?
You can't edit a post. If you want us to delete a post that you have made please let us know.

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» How do I add a signature to my post?
You can't post so you can't add a signature.

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» How do I create a poll?
Using a tree and a sawmill.

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» Why can’t I add more poll options?
Because you need more trees.

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» How do I edit or delete a poll?
Enough with the polls, ask something else.

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» Why can’t I access a forum?
All of the forums are in plain HTML, rather than being assembled from a database. Anyone can read any of the pages. If you find a problem with a particular page please let us know.

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» Why can’t I add attachments?
Because you can't post anything.

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» Why did I receive a warning?
Because you are a very naughty boy/girl/millennial (who doesn't want to identify as a particular gender so they can complain about being provided with the wrong type of uniform should they ever get a job).

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» How can I report posts to a moderator?
As this is a read only HTML versions of the forum there are no user accounts or moderators. If you find a problem with a particular post or page please contact us via e-mail and include a link to the page concerned.

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» What is the “Save” button for in topic posting?
Decoration.

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» Why does my post need to be approved?
You can't post, so all potential posts exist in the indeterminate state of being both approved and rejected at the same time. Who's cat is this?

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» How do I bump my topic?
Hold the Topic firmly in either hand and slowly lean forward so that the wrapper touches your monitor. Repeat as necessary.

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Formatting and Topic Types

» What is BBCode?
It's a type of poem written about poor quality and biased news reporting.

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» Can I use HTML?
Yes. If you (or your computer) couldn't use HTML you wouldn't see this page.

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» What are Smilies?
Smilies, or Emoticons, are small images which can be used to express a feeling using a short code. Like the joy I feel changing this faq.

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» Can I post images?
Yes, but not here.

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» What are global announcements?
Global announcements contain false news as approved by Donald Trump. Lets make America Great/Radioactive Again.

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» What are announcements?
Announcements are small insects that live in colonies. What? I thought you said 'ants'.

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» What are sticky topics?
Sticky Topics are type of chocolate confectionery that have been left in the sun.

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» What are locked topics?
Locked Topics are like sticky topics but instead of being left in the sun they have been put in the freezer.

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» What are topic icons?
Technical terms for the nuts in either sticky or locked Topics.

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User Levels and Groups

» What are Administrators?
Administrators are your overlords. Bow puny human.

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» What are Moderators?
Moderators are individuals (or groups of individuals) who look after the forums from day to day. As the forums are now closed and all posts have previously been approved you will need to contact us if you believe that a post requires moderation.

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» What are usergroups?
Usergroups are groups of users.

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» Where are the usergroups and how do I join one?
Usergroups only exist elsewhere in the same location that the instructions on joining one can be found..

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» How do I become a usergroup leader?
You can't. Haven't you been reading? The forums are gone, this is an HTML read only copy.

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» Why do some usergroups appear in a different colour?
It brighten's the place up.

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» What is a “Default usergroup”?
See 'What are usergroups?'. It's the group responsible for any mistakes. For example 'It's default of the White House'.

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» What is “The team” link?
It's a misspelt part of a locomotive with Stepehenson valve gear.

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Private Messaging

» I cannot send private messages!
I don't come to you with all my problems do I? Learn how to use encrypted e-mail. 

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» I keep getting unwanted private messages!
t's called SPAM. What? Did you really think the GDPR would stop any of it?

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» I have received a spamming or abusive e-mail from someone on this board!
We are sorry to hear that however as the board hasn't sent any e-mails for several years you are probably mad. Send us a copy of the e-mail and we will either investigate or laugh at you.

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Friends and Foes

» What are my Friends and Foes lists?
You need to keep that safely hidden in one of your schoolbooks.

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» How can I add / remove users to my Friends or Foes list?
Using a pen or Tippex (crayons are also available for the more 'gifted' student).

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Searching the Forums

» How can I search a forum or forums?
The original forum search system has been removed as it relied on the database. There is a search box on most VirtualAcorn website pages which will search both the main website and these forum pages.

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» Why does my search return no results?
Your search was probably wrongly spelt, or there are no results because the words you chose are not used. For example using 'BBC B' rather than RiscPC. Or you are a looney.

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» Why does my search return a blank page!?
Because the forum search has been removed. Or your laptop is a cardboard prop from a furnishing store.

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» How do I search for members?
There are lots of other web sites that let let you search for members, ask them you filthy boy.

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» How can I find my own posts and topics?
Your own posts can be identified using the search button on the main VirtualAcorn website. Search usiing the username you used when you posted on the forums.

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Topic Subscriptions and Bookmarks

» What is the difference between bookmarking and subscribing?
The spelling.

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» How do I subscribe to specific forums or topics?
You can't subscribe here so go and ask a forum that's still running.

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» How do I remove my subscriptions?
Cancel the direct debit after the first payment.

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Attachments

» What attachments are allowed on this board?
None.

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» How do I find all my attachments?
Look in the downstairs cupboard.

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phpBB 3 Issues

» Who wrote this bulletin board?
This software (in its unmodified form) is produced, released and is copyright phpBB Group. It is made available under the GNU General Public License and may be freely distributed. See the link for more details. This HTML copy of the board was generated using GetLeft, edited in Notepad++ and ZZZ Find and replace. Plus with lots of other tools/hacks/regex etc

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» Why isn’t X feature available?
Because it was too X'pensive. Did you see what I did there?

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» Who do I contact about abusive and/or legal matters related to this board?
Finally a real question. E-mail us at info@virtualacorn.co.uk and let us know what the problem is. Or you can go and boil your head.

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